The surfboard has become a disposable piece of surfing equipment that most people carry on their heads or by hand, thanks to easy-grip designs and integrated handles.
It seems democracy and globalization aren't doing surfing any favors.
I know it's a controversial take, but bringing surfing to more and more people isn't making surf culture any better.
On the contrary, it's turning it into a purchasable "experience" you can have once in a lifetime, just like skydiving or eating insects in a remote location in Asia.
"Surfing? Yeah, I tried it once. It was fun," you could probably hear while socializing and making small talk at a fancy or hipster party.
Yes, you were part of a large group that paid a substantial amount of money to be pushed into whitewater mini-waves for 90 minutes by a surf instructor.
It must've been quite an experience. Congrats.
Generation Decathlon
While doing it - probably never knowing who Duke Kahanamoku or Kelly Slater are, or what "The Endless Summer" or "Big Wednesday" are - you contributed to the overcrowding of consistent beach breaks, overtourism, and the number of foam surfboards discarded where they shouldn't be.
Indirectly, you were also responsible for putting out of business thousands of surfboard shapers and closing iconic surf shops.
It's Generation Decathlon.
The modern sportspeople who see "cool sports you should try before you die" posts on their social media feeds and decide to shop for pro gear and equipment before even trying them.
I know it sounds bitter and rancorous, but the reality I witness more and more every weekend is hard to unsee.
All the surf breaks I have been enjoying for over 30 years are now with so many people in the water - most of them are foreigners - that it's become virtually impossible to catch a wave and ride it without being dropped by someone who doesn't even know there are priority rules in surfing.
Why would I paddle out knowing that I will eventually get so annoyed or angry that I would leave the water worse off than I was in terra firma?
Newbies rule the lineup
The cheap commercialization of surfing starts in the sand.
Surf schools now mark territory by sticking flags on the beach, as if they owned a strip of coastline for the time they're "teaching" newbies the art of walking on water.
We know the trick.
Taking pictures and shooting video of beginners - an extra product sold by the surf school industry - is another example of the state of modern surfing.
And when the branded surf school foamies aren't in the water, individual lost souls are always out there, as if divine intervention put them in the lineup.
Cheap XXL soft-top surfboards sold in supermarkets or mega sports retailers for under $200.
Beginners and newbies are becoming the dominant force in surfing.
It's an underskilled army that is undermining and outnumbering the intermediate and advanced brigade by a large margin.
Despite their lack of knowledge and experience, they're shattering everyone's chances of getting their fair share of waves after a stressful workweek.
The cheap foam surfboard generation is unaware of their impact on surfing and its once-burgeoning culture.
They don't care about surf history, surf books and movies, nor surf science.
For them, there is no such thing as surf forecasting - it's either sunny or rainy. They've either taken a snap in their inexpensive wetsuit or not.
Beach cleanups and ocean environment awareness are for activists, right?
A foam surfboard with a handle hole breaks the rules of surfboard design; its fin boxes are inertia's finest allies.
Nearly everything's wrong in those bland templates. The concept of rail and tail shapes is nonexistent.
These surfboards were not made to trim a wave. Their sole goal is to steer their owner straight to the beach.
The anti-surfboard
In a way, they're anti-surfboards. They don't do what they're supposed to, and they keep real surfers from having fun.
I cannot count how many times I left the water after these craft, and their riders irreversibly damaged my session.
And I am not sure if things will change, even with all the wave pools popping up here and there.
Is there any wave breaking where nobody has ever ridden? Could a large-scale disruption, oil, energy, etc., put an end to this plague?
Could surfing mimic the implosion and subsequent loss of popularity skateboarding experienced in the 1980s?
Maybe we need to kill the king for monarchy to prevail again.
Because the democratization (or is it socialism?) of surfing is making it look cheap in the worst possible way.
Long live the polyurethane kingdom and the days of epoxy knight riders. Who would've thought we would miss them?
Words by Luís MP | Founder of SurferToday.com
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