Spray stung my face as I clung to the back of the jet ski without a sled. What do I do if I fall off now?
I had no idea who was driving, but as we bounced over the big waves in Nazaré, I had a feeling I was in good hands.
How did I end up here? Is this real? Adrenaline rushed through me - I couldn't believe what was happening.
Back in the harbor, buzzing with the kind of happiness only a day out in the ocean can bring, I was holding a couple of wave buoys when João de Macedo grinned at me.
"Do you know who that was?" he asked.
"No clue," I admitted.
"That was Sebastian Steudtner, the world record holder for the largest wave ever ridden, so I knew you were in good hands".
A wave of... well, not quite shame, but definitely embarrassment washed over me. I had been so skeptical about him switching places with João on the ski.
What did I know?
I am just a wave-obsessed surfer from Sandnes, Norway, usually more concerned with deploying wave buoys than recognizing surfing royalty.
My name is Torunn Irene Seldal, and I have spent countless days observing the ocean.
For the last three years, I have been immersed in deploying small friendly wave buoys (SFYs) in Norway and around the world.
Have you ever wondered how we can quantify the force and cycle of individual surf waves? Surfers can see and feel the power of the waves, but how powerful is it really?
This letter is my story. A reflection on the science of surfing and the art of observing waves and the ocean.
It is the story of how I ended up in Nazaré measuring surf waves.
One passion reveals a path to another
My passion for the ocean led me to surfing, and this passion for surfing guided me to physical oceanography, and all of this led me to the science of surfing.
That guided me to work as a researcher who now measures surf waves around the world.
Since I was a child, I have loved the ocean and always wanted to dive deeper into it like a mermaid or dolphin - it is the place where I feel at peace and at home.
I love observing waves and the ocean's movement. I have spent so many days driving up and down the coast at home, watching the waves.
When I started surfing, I started to map the surf breaks in a journal.
I can be very obsessed with what I am passionate about. I have always felt a bit stumbly on land, but I feel more confident when I am in the ocean.
I had a dream to be out in the field and collect my own data so I could compare my visual observations with the measurements.
That passion was sparked several years later in a classroom "Down Under."
In a course called "Coastal Geomorphology", a professor mentioned how challenging it is to measure breaking waves in the surf zone.
I remember my pen dropping as the world around me stopped for a second, and I started to fantasize about doing this one day!
This made me recognize that there is a gap in knowledge around breaking wave processes and that this was something I could pursue.
The dream that I had to become a marine biologist started to feel less and less like the right path for me.
A year later, the professor developed a course called "Geography of Surfing."
This is when my soul started to light up. I was not even aware that this was a pathway I could make a career out of.
During this time, my go-to reading material was the articles of Mead, Black, Butt, Atkin, Lazarow, and Olive.
These scientists became my inspiration.
A few years later, I stepped into the University of Bergen. This is when I started my investigation to find a supervisor who was stoked on waves and the subject.
I met with nearly every supervisor in the building to ensure I made the best choice. No stone was left unturned!
It turned out I was the only student who enrolled in the "Wind Generated Surface Waves" course. For the first time, I felt like I belonged to a scientific community that understood the magic of waves.
The surfing community in Norway is not big, so the chance of finding a person who was both a keen surfer and studying waves was close to zero.
For two years, I sacrificed my surfing to focus on earning my master's degree.
Before moving to Bergen, I had hit rock bottom with my surfing - it wasn't fun anymore, and I felt stuck in a spiral of frustration.
Taking a break from surfing gave me the space to explore other aspects of my life. It felt like having a break from surfing and studying the ocean brought the fun back to it.
It was like peeling away a layer of mental blocks, and I rediscovered the joy and freedom that surfing had always given me.
Success crisis
The reality of completing a milestone hit me like lightning. I was swimming in a void, not knowing what to do with my life.
After I finished my degree, I spent my days applying for jobs and lying to myself that this time I could live a stable life at home and follow socialized norms.
I felt split in two.
One part of me wanted to throw the buoys into the sea and never work with them again; the other part of me gave the same feeling as when surfing: I want more.
How do you let go of a project you put your heart and soul into?
I was driving five hours from Bergen to Jæren to collect surf wave data.
One summer holiday, I drove to Lofoten to work as a journalist and to measure the surf waves.
Not to mention all the hours of analyzing all the data I collected, programming, creating figures, writing, rewriting, editing, more writing...
Completing a master's thesis made me believe that if I want to travel to the moon and back, I know I can do it.
I must laugh at how personal it all felt to leave the buoys behind at the University; it felt like leaving a dog behind on the street.
I couldn't do that, so two of the buoys ended up in my carload of belongings.
If it weren't for the developers Gaute Hope and Jean Rabualt at the Norwegian Meteorological Institute, I would never have had the opportunity to work with the SFYs.
Not only were these buoys an innovative technology, but it was also the first time we tested them in the surf, and I learned to build them.
I feel grateful to have been part of something new from the beginning.
Through experiencing my success crisis, I realized that the more jobs I applied to, the less I was ready to let go of something that had given me purpose for two years.
My heart was calling me to continue researching, and I had already manifested to measure waves around the world.
Nazaré had been a dream for a long time, but how?
So, with almost no money, no new job, and not fully knowing how to work things out, I followed a lead and traveled to South Africa.
Even if things did not work out, I could look back and be happy I took the opportunity to surf J-Bay.
Being in a different environment always fuels me with new inspiration, and after catching some of the best waves of my life, I remembered a woman who once told me that if you don't feel ready to start a full-time job, you can always just apply for a research proposal!
I followed her advice and was filled with joy when the Norwegian Meteorological Institute accepted my proposal.
"The Ashlad and His Good Helpers"
My journey felt like the Norwegian folktale "The Ashlad and His Good Helpers".
This folktale is about Askeladden who goes on an adventure to win the princess and half the kingdom.
He overcomes challenges and encounters different characters with unique abilities, who later become the good helpers who helped him achieve his goals.
The surfers I have met on surf trips in the past and the new ones I met along the way became my "good helpers".
Scientific proof that the people you meet are never a coincidence.
My good helpers had those unique abilities to either... drive a jet ski, read the ocean, be a keen local surfer, paddle far out to sea to pick up buoys, shoot good footage of the waves, and be a well-rounded ocean person.
These people inspired me, supported my research, gave me advice, lent a hand, or even gave me food and a place to stay.
It was also important for me to work with surfers who have learned the art of observing the ocean, especially currents and waves.
It is something completely different from being a good swimmer and comfortable in the water to being an experienced surfer who has been out in many different conditions.
I believe that if you are going to learn about the ocean, you need to be out in Nature and observing it firsthand.
I am a strong advocate for the benefits of fieldwork, and it shocks me that hands-on experience is not prioritized more in the educational system.
My professor was right
Surfers often talk about being humbled by the ocean's power. I found myself humbled by the complexity of these experiments.
While some would have understood the intricacies, I realized that many people I met during my travels didn't fully grasp the purpose of my work.
To some, it might have seemed like I was simply tossing buoys into the waves for fun.
In reality, each experiment was a carefully planned attempt to unravel some mysteries, similar to how surfers constantly study the waves to improve their skills.
Just as catching the perfect wave requires precise timing and understanding of ocean conditions, my research demanded meticulous planning and execution to gather meaningful data about the waves.
The experiments got better and better the more experience I gained, but no matter how much I planned to make it "perfect," it never was.
Let's just admit it: it can be difficult to make plans with surfers. We all have it in our DNA to chase the surf.
This was sometimes challenging when planning experiments. Surfing or measuring waves?
I went on this guilt trip every time I picked up my surfboard instead, and that little voice kept creeping in on me, "shouldn't you be collecting data?"
It was worst when the conditions were epic, and I was sitting there with surf stoke and guilt, wondering what the buoy would have said about that pumping set.
I wanted to measure every individual breaker, but I also wanted to surf freely without my brain doing mental gymnastics.
It was driving me a bit crazy.
I think a sign that my mind needed a bit more Zen was when I had a bad dream about the buoys taking over Nazaré.
In my dream, I could see thousands of yellow buoys in massive barrels, and the whole experiment was just chaotic and out of control.
While the dream didn't come 100 percent into reality, the last experiment I conducted in Nazaré was the first time we deployed buoys from a jet ski instead of a surfboard.
I would have thought that doing it from a jet ski would be easier, but it had its challenges too.
Perhaps that was why João switched places with Sebastian, because he wanted to surf. After deploying eight buoys, who wouldn't?
My good helpers had the idea that they could surf in between experiments, but when you get so caught up in the experiment and realize it is more challenging than expected, there often wasn't time for that.
My professor was right: it is difficult to measure breaking waves in one of the most violent and energetic environments of the ocean.
Follow your passion
This journey has been a story of how I moved from A to B by following my passion and curiosity.
I hope it inspires others to follow their dreams and to take chances.
Like a dear friend of mine said: "An adventure is when you don't know the end or outcome; otherwise, it wouldn't be an adventure".
While this adventure was mainly about measuring surf waves and the science of surfing, it became much more about my personal growth as a human being.
It taught me the importance of trusting my own judgment and letting my inner voice guide me, instead of listening to the outside world.
It helped me develop more skills in overcoming unpredictable challenges and to never give up on my aspirations.
There are many more waves I dream to measure and places I want to explore.
A lot of mysteries are left to be solved, and I think I might not be able to stop before I've put all the pieces together.
Words by Torunn Irene Seldal | Surfer, Physical Oceanographer, and Journalist
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